Wednesday, February 24, 2016

L O V E D A Y

Earlier this month we celebrated our 4th Valentine’s Day as a family and it was a weekend filled with love, from beginning to end. I adore February 14th. I truly do! The cards, the sweet messages my wife always writes me; the candy and everything hearts. I adore every single part of it and so does my tribe.

I’m always confused when I hear someone talk about how stupid they feel Valentine’s Day is. Those comments about it being a worthless Hallmark Holiday always leave me feeling stumped. Why dislike a 24-hour period that’s dedicated to showing the people in your life a little bit more love, if even just for a day? For us, the festivities always last nearly a week. Now please understand, you will never catch us dinning in a restaurant of any kind on v-day. February 14th, 2010 was the last time we visited a restaurant to celebrate Valentines (and yes I know the date because it was right after our wedding, lol). We ended up eating at the 3rd place we traveled to because there were no open reservations at the two places we really wanted to go. Once we arrived at our 3rd destination, the wait was like an hour… They then sat us right outside the kitchen and when our waiter came to greet us, the first words out of his mouth were, “I hate working Valentine’s Day. It sucks.” Who can blame the guy I guess… I’m sure it does suck. Let’s just say, it wasn’t the most romantic of days, ha! So instead of braving the outside world with every other person in New Mexico trying to get a dinner reservation, we now celebrate by cooking an amazing meal or getting sushi and opt to stay in with movies and wine!  


On the Friday that kicked off our Valentine’s Day weekend, we sent our gal to school with little love packs for her school buds filled with princess cards, pink animal erasers, rubber balls and chocolates! She insisted on doing all her own cutting, gluing and assembly. She also picked all of our projects out herself, of course. The Bean’s super awesome teachers were given cute coffee mugs and Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards. I would imagine they’ve received quite a few mugs over the years. ;)


Mama went with a Valentine’s Day themed lunch for the Bean and even threw a few cookies in there as a surprise, which I’m sure she loved. I love making fun lunches for this kiddo! We made her a few heart shaped sandwiches, juice with a pink heart straw and some healthy goodies. I wish we could have been there to watch her open her lunch, but even though we weren't, I'm happy that we got to spend the morning in the classroom. Just look at these cuties! My humans, they’re adorable.


In the afternoon I got the biggest surprise and totally cried like a baby, hence the puffy eyes. My girls came to my work with a bouquet of flowers and a beautiful orchid plant for my office. When I heard Gracie’s little voice in the lobby, I got so excited I just started crying. They came bursting in and stayed to meet my co-workers. This was the first time either of them visited my new office and Grace was a showstopper with everyone. They LOVED her!


The rest of our Valentine’s Day weekend consisted of brunch with Gaga and Papa, arts and crafts with Nani, gifts for the Bean’s dance buds and of course, a special gift for Gracie and G.


We're in the beginning phase of remodeling our master bathroom, so we said no v-day gifts this year... but I couldn't help myself. For my wife, the Harry Potter geek!


For our Valentine.


It was a lovely weekend full of so much love. 




Friday, February 12, 2016

{Fun Food Friday} Valentine's Day Edition

Today is Gracie's Valentine's party at her preschool, so she needed a special lunch! I LOVED Valentine's Day growing up (and still do). I was that crazy looking girl dressed in all red and hearts on v-day all the way through high school. I hope our gal grows up loving this holiday just as much. She most certainly will if I have anything to do with it! 



Monday, February 8, 2016

Making time for ME.

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look in the mirror and feel almost as though you don’t recognize yourself anymore? It’s like, you’ve been going through the motions and doing your regular day to day activities like work, motherhood, preschool carpools, etc. but you’ve somehow become disconnected from the person you used to be? Well, this pretty much sums up the past 2 years of my life. Infertility just kind of took over and I lost myself in the sadness of it all and couldn’t seem to find my way out.

These feelings are hard to explain without sounding like a miserable person, when in all honesty, I don’t feel depressed… I don’t feel overcome with sadness, nor do I feel an inability to connect with others. I just stopped being me. I had the gym membership, but no longer made the time to go. I can’t remember the last time I had a pedicure, which is something I used to love to do. My mama craft group… stopped going. The book club I once belonged to…stopped going to that quite a while ago. The friends I always made time for became people I missed very much but only connected with every couple of months. I was officially a closet smoker again, ugh. I pretty much stopped blogging or even reading blogs I once loved, all of it. I just became so damn lazy and stopped doing all the things that made ME happy.

I think this is something so easy to do when you’re a parent. You start to assimilate your level of happiness with your kiddo’s level of happiness and because Grace is in every activity under the sun, thriving and loving school, I let that be all the happiness I needed. What I’ve learned over time is that I can’t only focus my attention on her joy. I need to work on my {happy} too. She needs to see me make time for myself. She needs to know that mama likes to run and jump and get all dolled up to spend time with fun people too! She needs to hear me laugh, like really laugh! Most importantly, she needs to feel that I’m a joyful person. It needs to show on my face, so that’s been my focus in the New Year.

Yes, I’m that cliché, “New Year = New Me” person right now and I’m totally okay with that. The wife bought us both Fitbits and I’m obsessed with tracking my every move! I’m on week 5 back at the gym and have built up to 45-60 minutes of cardio (9k steps a day/average), which feels amazing! I’m once again a non-smoker and while I still have the occasional craving, I’ve stayed strong and it’s something I don’t really even think about anymore. This all means that some nights of the week I don’t see Grace until 6:15pm but we enjoy our mornings together, do lots of fun things on the weekends and if seeing mama 2-3 hours less during the week means I’m happier and healthier, I consider that an investment in both of us.

Feeling zero anxiety now that I’m making all of these changes and no longer taking fertility meds makes me question whether I ever want to get back in the ttc saddle. I was just so damn unhappy that I’m honestly thinking that’s not a role I was meant to play in this life. Oddly enough, the more time that passes, the more I’m ok with that. In the meantime, G is at it, full swing. I don’t think I’m going to blog about her journey to conceive baby #2 because I want to allow nature and whatever is going to happen to take it’s course without me obsessing about it (as I so easily tend to do). I pray things work out and there is another baby in our future, but I also know that what will be, will be. I’m choosing to move forward, scars and all… Still standing and ready for what’s next.

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